No Strength in Loneliness: Men’s Group Introduction

by Cameron Staley, LCSWA

Humans are very social creatures by nature. Even the more introverted among us, like myself, need a community. This is the way that we evolved. Throughout human evolution we survived in small groups and tribes. One major benefit to living in a group is protection from predators. However, there is another major benefit that has been all but forgotten over the last couple millennia, social support, and connection.

 

In the 21st century we don’t need to worry so much about predators. But we still need the connection with others. The protection we need most of all now is from social isolation.

 

Social isolation is one of those mental health symptoms that is associated with so many disorders. It’s difficult to know if depression and anxiety cause someone to withdraw socially or if being socially isolated causes mental illness. Regardless, these two factors always seem to have a relationship – as one increases so does the other

 

The reason this is so interesting is because we also see that as one decreases so does the other. If a lonely individual seeks comfort from their community, they can relieve depression and anxiety. Similarly, when one feels improved mental health symptoms, they also tend to engage more socially.

 

This interaction between isolation and mental wellness can be seen throughout our relationships today. And it can be seen overwhelmingly in the relationships of men. For generations men have been conditioned to move toward independence and individualism. To stand on one’s own-without the support of family, friends, a partner, or a community-is considered to a be a clear marker of a man’s strength.

 

Over time the idea of being strong became increasingly more associated withstanding alone and not having to rely on anyone. This progression of ideas leads to the sad reality that we live in today. Many men in this country are socially withdrawn, lonely, closed off, without a tribe.

 

Strength really means being able to endure a great amount of pressure or withstand a great force. But no one root grounds a tree. No single pillar supports a bridge. It requires a collective. You don’t have to hold up your entire family. You don’t have to carry all the pressure. True strength is knowing when you need to share the load.

 

I want to help other men build a small community. I’m starting a personal growth and development group for men to be able to connect with others. We’ll learn the basics of managing stress and pressure. We’ll learn how to improve relationships. And we’ll see how easy it can be to just connect with another person.

 

Interested in join our Men’s Support Group.  Get more information here!